Robert Heinlein

"Ira, there were many years when I hardly bothered with women, not only unmarried but celibate. After all how much variety can there be in the slippery friction of mucous membranes?

Then I realised that there was infinite variety in women as people and that sex was the most direct route to knowing a woman, a route they like, one that we like and often the only route that can break down the barriers and permit close acquintance.

And in discovering this I gained renewed interest in the friendly frolic itself, happy as a lad with his first bare tit warm in his hand. Happier as never again was I just a piston to her cylinder; each woman was/is a unique individual worth knowing and if we took enough time we might find that we loved each other. But at least we offered each other pleasure and a haven from cares, we weren't simply masturbating with the other just a sex doll.

Delusions are often functional. A mother's opinion about her children's beauty, intelligence, goodness etc. adnauseum keep her from drowning them at birth.

I came I saw she conquered! (The original Latin seems to have been garbled)

Climate is what we expect. Weather is what we get.

An Elephant; a Mouse built to government specifications.

A woman is not property and husbands who think otherwise are living in a dream world.

Formal courtesy between husband and wife is even more important than it is between strangers.

Sin lies only in hurting other people unnecessarily. All other sins are invented nonsense. (Hurting yourself isn't sinful just stupid.)

A committee is a life form with six or more legs and no brain.

Animals can be driven crazy by placing too many in too small a pen. Homosapiens are the only animal that voluntarily does this to themselves.

Money is a powerful aphrodisiac but flowers work almost as well.

A brute kills from pleasure, a fool kills from hate.

There is only one way to console a widow but remember the risk.

Everything to excess. To enjoy the flavour of life take big bites. Moderation is for monks.

It is better to copulate than never.

All men are created unequal.

What a wonderful world it is that has women in it.

Little girls like butterflies need no excuse.

Sex should be friendly otherwise stick to mechanical toys, it's more sanitary.

Man rarely, if ever, manages to dream up a God superior to themselves. Most Gods have the manners and morals of a spoiled child.

Never appeal to a mans better nature. He may not have one. Invoking his self interest gives you more leverage.

Cheops Law: Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.

Nursing does not diminish the beauty of a womans breasts it enhances their charm by making them look lived in and happy.

As the caterpillar chooses the finest leaves to lay her eggs on so the priest lays his curse on the fairest joys.

Happiness is wanting what you get, NOT getting what you want.

An acquantance is someone you know well enough to borrow money off but not well enough to lend it to."

from "Time enough for Love."

A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity.

Robert Heinlein